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Awareness often comes by way of replay or repeat of a certain turn of events. Cycles are sometimes necessary for awareness to manifest.  Think of instant replay in sports, a function to draw our attention to something we may have missed the first go-round. If I was not able to see myself from different vantage points in life at different times I would have never have discovered the countless lessons that I have learned over the years. When I find myself having the same experience over and over again I know there is a lesson and it is not until I learn the lesson that I will break free. 

Within Hinduism, Buddhism, as well as other Eastern religions, the Samsara represents the cycle of life, its original origins mean "passing through.[1]" When I notice myself passing through various experiences in my life I wonder...“Why am I in this place or in this state - again?”

Let Go - Huh?  Who Me?  
 Over the past year, I have noticed a common phrase showing up in my life, the phrase was 'Let Go'. I would see it everywhere. Let Go, Let Go, Let Go. Interestingly though, my response was always the same...let go of what?  This year I am learning to release quite literally in fact. I release the air out of my body in a daily practice I call ' The Five Minute Reset.' It's an opportunity to remind myself to simply Let Go and breathe. I release everything I am holding unto in my mind and in my body. It has worked wonders! I use a mindfulness timer that chimes every hour. And every hour during the day I release - instead of holding on and carrying over.   

 Holding On and Carrying Over  
For many years I have been holding on and carrying over: the tension in my body, past mistakes, disappointments, shattered dreams, lost loves, and most of all my busy schedule. I carried it all over year-after-year and day-after-day dreading the next. No wonder the world and God was telling me to LET GO! Now I know, let go of everything.  

 “I need you to become an empty vessel so that I (God) can pour into you."   

And that is Good News. Good News indeed.  At the beginning of the year, I set the intention with my wonderful coach, Althea McIntyre to live out my calling with more ease, and though I had not at all anticipated an epiphany in the second month of the year, it happened right on time. There is power in setting intention and asking for what you really need. (I'll be talking about this more in my next blog). For now, I have the awareness to create real change in my life.  I subjected myself to two masters - fear and God and now it is only One that I obey. 

TRY A 5-MINUTE RESET 
If you would like to join me in my new practice try it out for a week. BREAK - PAUSE - BREATHE for five minutes a day. There is a most awesome mindfulness timer that you can use online: http://www.fungie.info/bell/#  Make a 40 minute investment during your eight hour work-day to keep your spirit-filled. I would love to know about your experience, write to me and let me know how it works for you. Can’t wait to hear how it goes.

Matthew 4:10 New American Standard Bible  (©1995) 
Then Jesus said to him, "Go, Satan! For it is written, 'YOU SHALL WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD, AND SERVE HIM ONLY.'"  

[1] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/samsara

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A few weeks ago I opened a letter from the Maryland State Department of Taxation and Assessments. It was a confirmation letter stating the declaration of my business, Spirit-filled Coaching, Inc. In the request type field was the word “resolution”.   In my mind and state of being was the same word - resolution. Have you ever gotten to a state of resolution, where you felt really clear and concrete about something? Well, even if you haven't this article is for you.

Defining Resolution
I looked up Merriam Webster's definitions for the word resolution, which says it is:
the act or process of resolving: as
a : the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones
b : the act of answering : solving
c : the act of determining
Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resolution

Somewhere buried in those definitions is the notion that one is coming to terms with something. Note that each definition is "the act" of something. Resolution is an active process, "the act of analyzing a complex notion into a simpler one," the act of answering", "the act of determining." There is something mystical about these definitions. In spiritual terms, I sense three-way communication: (1) our desire for simplicity for our complex problems (2) God's act of responding to our desire, (3) and our discernment in understanding God's answer back to us.

Finding Resolve
Finding your point of resolve is like being on an unstable platform, waffling is a necessary part of decision making, just as teetering back and forth is necessary to find your point of balance. Once you have found your resolve even by process of elimination you can stand your ground and be clear on what works for you and what doesn't.

As we sink into the New Year think about what this process means to you and see the struggle and beauty in getting clear on what is important to you. Remember resolution is a process which means steps are required, sometimes incremental rather than large in number. Either way, remember to carry compassion along as your merry friend to remind you to be easy with yourself. Know that God is also with you in the process.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." 
Deuteronomy 31:6 (New International Version)
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Creativity is more than a talent, it is a way of being. Being creative is the opportunity to formulate a new option or direction. You may not be able to fix a difficult situation but you may be able to create a new perspective about how you choose to deal with it. Be mindful of who you are being in all that you are doing, especially in choices you are faced with every day.

"The enemy specializes in forcing you into a corner in order to make you feel hopeless, worried, frightened, or scared to move. Our Creator lives in us and gave us the power to create windows or better yet draw doors, even when our situations seem impossible.  And for this, I am grateful for my inner artist." By Alfreda McCray, Journal reflection - August 28, 2009

Put It Into Practice
If you are feeling trapped in a situation, ask "who do I choose to be in this situation" or "how do I choose to show up"? Fresh perspective brings new outlook when we remember to create.

"Creativity is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to God." ~Bob Moawad
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Dear readers,

It has been some time since my last post and boy have I gone through some changes. And I bet you have too. In August 2011, I became the unexpected caretaker of my teenaged nephew and just like that my world was turned upside down.

A few months prior I had just pushed into my dream of helping others to live more passionately, more fully. I had quit my full-time job to take on a small project to support myself. I had counted my pennies once, twice, and three times for good measure. I knew exactly how much I needed to live to support myself comfortably. I moved into my very contemporary one person office, my very own dedicated space, a sanctuary to smolder the flame of ideas pouring out from me. I knew in my mind, I was going to do this. And then just like that my life changed.

Have you ever been in a situation like that? You were so sure of the path you’re on and then, wham! In comes the unexpected. Well, if you’re like me maybe you considered a change in course; maybe you threw your hands up in despair and decided to scrap the whole idea. After all, who did I think I was to believe this whole thing was possible in the first place? I must say I went through all of the stages of anguish above but I came to a different conclusion altogether. With resolve, I decided to pursue my dream in the midst of adversity. And I learned some powerful things from this journey. I learned that an atmosphere or environment doesn’t make me who I am. In other words, the right circumstances does not direct my path, God does. I can be a coach in my house, on the phone, or with a stranger on a bus. I also learned that taking care of my nephew was the ultimate coaching project. He needed a great deal of support. It was a process to help me see the importance of coaching and realize how much people need a word of encouragement. One person to say “Yes, you can do it” is sometimes all the boost needed to change their trajectory in life. A little inspiration goes a long way. I am still learning, but am grateful for the experience. 

If you are facing a challenge or adversity, the key is not to overcome the challenge; the key is simply not to quit. Keep taking one small step forward one day at a time.  Focus on the step in front of you and not the end result and you will find peace in the journey.

Change is not always bad, but challenging YES! I think we all can agree, but as the saying goes, "There is no growth without a struggle." And grow we shall. Growth is an important part of the cycle of life. This experience has inspired me to focus on the subject of change for my next series of blogs. More exciting changes coming from me as well in how I can best serve you with the gift and talents God has given me. 

Stay tuned for more tips on creating positive change from the inside out with the right mindset in my webinar titled, “How to Manage Change with Your Spirit Intact.” Coming Soon!

“Thank you, Lord! How good you are! Your love for us continues on forever” 
~Psalm 106:1 The Living Bible

For more information on how to deal with unexpected change, setback, or adversity see Valerie Burton’s book: 
Where Will You Go from Here? 
Moving Forward When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned

Get a sneak peak of Chapter 1: http://www.valorieburton.com/docs/SneakPeek_WhereWillYouGofromHere.pdf
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Sometimes, the problems you must face
are more than you wish to cope with, 
and tomorrow doesn't seem
to offer any solutions.

You may ask yourself "Why Me?"
but the answer is sometimes unclear.
You may even tend to feel that life isn't fair 
to burden you with such obstacles.

The roads any of us choose
to follow are never free
of bumps and curves,
but eventually the turns
lead to a smoother path

Believe in yourself and your dreams.
You will soon realize that
the future holds many promises
for you.
Remember...difficult times
don't last forever

 - Geri Danks, "Always Believe in Yourself and Your Dreams" A Blue Mountain Arts Collection  2005
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“The important thing to remember is that one faltering but actual step is more valuable than any number of journeys performed in the imagination.” – John Main

Some words are so wise they need no further elaboration.
Remember to keep taking small but salient steps forward. 
Just a reminder of what you can do.

Til next time,
Love.

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 “Better to be a pilgrim without a destination...than to cross the wrong threshold every day.” – Sy Safransky, Founder and Editor of the Sun Magazine

I Quit....Again
I saw this quote recently and it resonated with me, so much that I think I actually started to vibrate. It was like hearing the boom of a gong a reverberation that stays with you long after it’s been struck. This is exactly how I was feeling right after I decided to quit my job again for the 2nd or 3rd time. And, it’s not as if I had not notified my boss of my attempts. I communicated several times to tell him things weren’t working, but each time I allowed myself to compromise in order to “fix” the situation. I tried different configurations, working as a contractor, full-time employee, and part-time employee. No matter how many times I tried to paint a different picture nothing worked. I was faced with the same result, it was time to go. What I realized is that until you follow your passionate dream, everything will pale in comparison. For me that dream is a variety of things; writing, coaching, teaching, studying art and religion, and just being. What’s even more compelling is that, this dream isn't  just for me, and it isn’t even what I consider to be from me. I believe it is a calling to be in service to help others live up to their higher calling.

Dreams...Tucked Away for Safe Keeping
Contained in each of us are those special somethings that we hide and tuck away in the recesses of our minds only to bring out on special occasions when we dare to let ourselves be. Then we tuck it away for safe keeping for times when there is more money, more security, when things are safer, when the kids are grown, and the bills are paid, when we’ve gotten the promotion that will one day allow us to spend more time with our dream. At least that is what we tell ourselves and our dreams believe us, only it diminishes a bit, becomes a little more distant each time we put it outside the confines of our mind. Here is where I have been with my dream as of late on the outskirts of my ego staunchly bargaining its release like a hostage negotiator. But one day it broke free. How did you get out? It simply said, “Ma’am perhaps you didn’t know that I am too big to be contained.” My dream started following me. It was in fact, a stalker. Everywhere I went there was my dream, other people could see it too and they would tell me about it. It was like having a huge run in my stocking, everyone noticed it, this embarrassment. And one day I simply accepted and decided that I would just let it guide me. 

Saying No In order to Say Yes
In order to move forward I said no to one thing in order to say yes to something else, to devote myself to live authentically on the behalf of others. I don’t know where it will take me but life is a journey, uncertainty is a part of the adventure. I am on new unchartered waters; my guide is Spirit and my boat is “Trust.” 

Dear reader, think about that thing you’ve held in your head for so long that you won’t let be. Consider setting it free. Then you will know that it is not the dream that you have held captive but yourself. I believe on the inside of each of us is a rich blessing from God. It may be scary to let out but it is imperative. You don’t know who is waiting, depending on you to be you for their sake. Have faith that God will work through you to make it happen.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”– Matthew 5:16
  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For more info about Following Your Dream see:
 Creating The Work You Love (CD)
 By Tama Kieves, AwakeningArtistry.com 
 Link: http://v.ly/f4n
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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin

If you are moving into something new in your career or in your life or even exploring a new artistic ability remember to hold compassion for yourself. Stepping out into the unknown requires nurturing, in this stage we are like tender young blossoms in need of gentle care. Be careful not to expose yourself to harsh elements like well-meaning critique. Not everyone is going to be happy with your new ambition but do not let it change your way of being.

Stepping forward means leaving the place you once were. It might mean leaving something or someone behind in order to do so.  Regardless of the risk, step out in faith knowing that God is leading you to a higher calling. If something is holding you back or if you are clasping unto something for comfort and security –let go. Trust the process and give yourself permission to blossom. Enjoy the journey.

Brothers, I do not consider myself to have embraced it yet. But this one thing I do: Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. Philippians 3:13 - International Standard Version (©2008)

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While February the month of love comes to a close why not keep the theme of love alive throughout the year. Whether it’s working your way through those New Year’s goals, dealing with transitions on the job, or the turbulent political and social climates in the world today here are a few tips for using love to steer your way through times of change and transition.

Transition can be a tumultuous time filled with uncertainty and anxiety but it can also be a time of great prospect. The outcome depends on the perspective so to help reframe transition here are four (4) tips to you navigate what to do when you don’t know what to do.

1.      Hold a vision – Understand that for good or bad your situation is temporary, the upside of change is that it is inevitable and constant. While you are waiting for change to occur or transition to pass over, hold a vision for yourself, those around you, or abroad centered on unconditional love: hopeful, healthy, healing love. The key is to bring the feeling of love into your present moment to hold it there and let it emanate. See yourself whole and complete in that vision and take that vision with you everywhere you go.

2.      Be grateful – Yes, the situation might be quite odious and unbearable but take stock of the good around you. Make a practice of creating a gratitude list each day for at one least week. If you can’t eliminate the negative then be sure not to give it any energy it doesn’t deserve. You will be surprised of the benefits as well as how many things you have to be thankful for.

3.      Be consistent in prayer and praise – Prayer is a powerful tool to identify and verbalize supplication. Ask God for what you need in your situation. The key is to remember that you are passing through transition not taking up permanent residency. Praise is an expression of joy and it is an instant mood changer. When you need to shift your focus off of what you don’t want, try praise to express your appreciation for your triumph even before it comes. Feel the success in your body and bring it into the present.

4.      Be your best self right where you are – If the goal is to change careers, field of study, or body composition approach your endeavor with an optimistic view of what you already have. Consider famous personalities like Michael Jordan, Barak Obama, or Ben Carson; they started just as they were, not as a record-breaking all-star, United States President, or famous doctor. Before the titles or accolades they were themselves. Be you right where you are and appreciate what you have to offer. Love your authentic self and use your gifts just as God provided them to you – and build from that. If your goal is to become a top sales consultant don’t wait for the promotion to start exercising that gift, love yourself enough to start right where you are.

Remember, you are not alone; there is a multitude of support from peers and professionals to help you through your challenge.  Refocus your thoughts to shift your perspective from what you don’t want to what you do.  Working with a coach is a great way to help you navigate transition. Coaches help you shift and reframe your thoughts so that you can move from where you are to where you want to be. Imagine if you had someone to walk with you through your transition. In what areas could a coach support you? I am looking for clients to complete my certification program at the International Academy of Coaching. If you're ready to work together through change I would be happy to walk with you on the journey.  Contact Me! In the meantime remember these helpful tips for getting through uncertainty. Regardless of the type of change/transition you are facing love will see you through.

For more information about love and moving through change/transition:

Martha Beck provides some great advice that I have found very useful when navigating a job/career change in her video blog:
http://tiny.cc/l95c5  

The Happiness Is Subtraction is a great short article by T. Byram Karasu, M.D about focusing on what we already have to find happiness:
http://tiny.cc/hnvbt

Love, Wholeness and the Nature of Change
Every one of us is a work in progress.
by Alison Bonds Shapiro, M.B.A.
http://tiny.cc/j41dd
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Greetings,
Happy New Year and welcome to my monthly newsletter!

Release and Real Ease
Have you ever noticed the close connection between the words release and real ease, it seems like release is the formation of the two words joined together, perhaps release is the state of being at real ease.  I thought this was a great theme to kickoff the new segment of my newsletter. In this issue I focus on eating habits; binge eating specifically, primarily because the #1 New Year’s resolution is….losing weight. And while we are all excited to jump in and tackle the weight loss demon head-on, we must also understand the nature of the beast, that is, our own eating habits and the root causes behind them.

The New Year is a great time to set new intentions. So get ready to release from bad habits and damaging behaviors to find real ease in establishing new healthier ways of being.

Stop Food Fighting
If you find yourself binging on certain foods and do not understand why, a good way to figure out an underlying cause is to actually speak the words of what you are feeling out loud. If it is anger say “anger,” or “frustration “or “I’m sad,” or simply “I don’t know,” (binge eating could also be a way of coping with uncertainty), the important thing is to identify the feeling in the moment. This practice may seem a little silly at first but you may find that the root cause of your eating is more emotionally driven than just pure hunger after all.

Identify the Feeling Behind the Impulse
Saying the words may not make you feel any less hungry at first but the important thing is to identify the source behind the feeling– your eating trigger. You may find that when you are happy you eat to feel congratulated. If you find yourself at the bottom of a pint of Rocky Road, you could be sad. Developing awareness about your feelings will allow you to react differently towards the food you eat and the choices you make.

Rocky Road may be your friend on those days you have the blues, or perhaps it is those delicious bittersweet morsels of Hershey® Special dark chocolate that get you through, whatever the vice, they all serve as coping mechanisms which lead to unhealthy dependencies on certain foods.

Here are (7) seven practices to help you reclaim independence in your eating habits 

Put it into Practice:
1.      As you eat, be mindful (notice how your food tastes and how you feel)
2.      Try not to wait until you are extremely hungry to eat (this will help with item #1)
3.      Light candles and listen to soothing music, studies show that dimmed lights help you eat slower
4.      As much as possible eat at a set location, like the dining room table; avoid the car or on the go
5.      Turn off the T.V., computer, and the phone; call your best friend back to finish your meal
6.      Post a note to self , a reminder to be mindful while eating
7.      Try prayer before eating, not only is this an expression of appreciation for your food but also turns your eating into a spiritual practice.

When I was young my grandmother taught me a very simple prayer for meals, it goes like this:

Dear Lord, Thank you for this meal - gratitude to the Creator for providing
That I am about to receive – a special provision specifically for me
For the nourishment of my body – acknowledge the true purpose for my eating
Bless the hands that made it – appreciate those that prepared (even if it is you)
And bless those who are not able to receive – compassion for those in need
We ask these things in Christ’s name – recognition of our faith tradition
Amen. – Closing, which means “And, so it is.”

My grandmother was dead-on about so many things and this is no exception. A small prayer can bring fresh perspective and new meaning to a meal if we really feel the power of prayer in our bodies before eating.

Change Your Relationship With Food
Remember, neither food nor eating is bad but we may need to reevaluate our relationship with certain foods to contour our eating habits and achieve our weight loss goals.

So, release the old habits and make room for something new. I hope these tips will give your meal a whole new experience so you can meet those New Year’s intentions with real ease.

TIP: A good way to track your eating habits and weight loss progress in the New Year is to journal. Write down how you feel and what you ate for a month, see if there are any correlations or noticeable triggers. Need a hand? Check out, Blessings Unlimited which offers some great inspirational portfolios and writing pads to encourage you on your intentional journey.

Here are some great resources to bring awareness to what we eat and why:

Web Articles

When Food Is Your Sanctuary: Finding or Building New Ones
Psychology Today, Published on December 7, 2010, by Terese Weinstein Katz 

Help Control Your Weight - Treat Food as Information,Information is physical - so give your body the right directions. Psychology Today, Published on January 6, 2011 by Matthew Edlund, M.D.

More Information on Eating Disorders 
A great resource for many types of eating disorders and how to get help: http://www.bulimia.com/

Books (order online from the bulimia.com bookstore)
Overcoming Binge Eating By Christopher Fairburn
Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth
Eating Mindfully, How to End Mindless Eating and Enjoy a Balanced Relationship With Food by Susan Albers
Mindful Eating 101, A Guide to Healthy Eating in College and Beyond by Susan Albers

Keeping Spirit Filled which will return the 3rd Wednesday of every month carrying more tips on how to release and be at real ease in 2011.
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